Deciding Whether Or Not To Run

I logged on to Active.com yesterday. For three years I've had a standing-date with this website. Each January I log-on and download a half-marathon training schedule. I transfer the prescribed workouts onto the pages of my day-timer. Create a spreadsheet to log dates, times, and distances run. McKibbin helps me download some fabulous music to my MP3 player. I give my running shoes a once-over and buy new ones if I need 'em.

Lincoln's Half Marathon gets me out of bed on these dark and cold mornings. Takes my mind out of the brunt of a midwestern winter and plops it closer to the finish-line in May. Yesterday, like clockwork, I arrived for my January date with Active.com. My day-planner in front of me and pen in hand. But as the page loaded I sort of gasped. The roadmap looked unusually hard. My leg muscles flinched reflexively.

I put down the pen and blinked back at the screen. Part of my brain readily conjured the thrill of hitting 12 miles three weeks out from race-day. But there is also the ache and groan of the steps to get there.

Plus I am currently holding down my job, a part-time schedule of classes, parent groups, church, book club, and...oh, yes ... a super-fabulous family. The half-marathon training schedule is ambitious to say the least. While the feeling of accomplishment and payoff are huge, my calendar is already filled with ambition this year.

Without committing to anything I closed the window on my computer screen. Decided to think about it a little bit more. I have a week or two to decide, though, I'm unusually torn about running this year.

Sometimes the decision not to run, is just as hard as the decision to do it.