Turns Blue

“Mommy, do you think the other kids will
think it’s cool…or will they think it’s just weird?”
– Naomi (worriedly staring at the contents of her lunchbox)

I have been blessed with a kid who is gentle, thoughtful, sensitive and smart. This past weekend, however, I’d have to emphasize sensitive on that list of attributes. Naomi’s emotions rode really, very close to the surface. With a keen eye for perfection Naomi is quick to seize her slightest flaw. Any small misstep and she would dissolve into tears.

This mood lands our household with a lot of crying right now. McKibbin is always good with a silly knock-knock joke (or two, or three...) whenever Naomi needs it. If all else fails he just tickles her until she turns blue.

I bring up the opposite end of the parenting curve by taking every tear seriously. Kleenex litter my car, my house, my yard, my purse. For her it's a phase, I know, possibly something she'll work through and never re-visit. But for me it’s an anxiety I’ve worked with as far back as I can remember. With all that struggle under my belt I wish I had more to show for it.

We take deep breaths together, dry our eyes, and call upon one of only two ideas that get me through similar episodes:

• Nobody (not even you) can ask better than your best. And your best is pretty darned impressive.
  
• It would be both sad and boring to spend your life avoiding mistakes. A better idea is to look squarely at the mistake itself and decide what you're going to do next.
  

Eventually Naomi will feel a little lighter from the inside. She’ll get out of this funk. Her self-critic will get shoved into some quiet corner for a while. The rest of life will take up its more usual color. Going back to school today will help, I’m sure. Familiar faces. Regular routines. More constant and restful sleep. It was just hard, this weekend, to see her holiday break arrive with a watery end.