Standing By The Punch-Bowl

I met a woman at a party the other night. I'm terribly insecure about meeting new people. Usually I clam up in any group larger than six. But over the past couple of years I've made the concerted effort to actually build social skills. There was nowhere to go but up from ground zero which, truly, was my starting-point.

Anyway, I'm at this party the other night and making polite small talk with a woman in the corner. Turns out our kids went to the same child-care center, she's originally from Minnesota, and she's trained as an anthropologist. The conversation lulled and we moved on to poke at the ice in our glasses.

I thought the conversation had gone quite well so I fought the urge to excuse myself before I said something silly. Instead I put a wide smile on my face and offered up the "Oh, you must know..." game. Oh, I said, you must know my dear friend Ms. Bizzlehopper (not her real name) to which the stranger responded with a ten minute diatribe about how Bizzlehopper had bees in her bonnet, was a complete nincompoop and an interpersonal ogre.

On the one hand, the stranger's comments left me feeling defensive on behalf of my friend, Bizzlehopper, and on the other hand I thought isn't that interesting. Here's a person trained to study human behavior yet when offered an opening like you must know my dear friend... she berates our mutual acquaintance rather than saying yes and moving on to another topic.

I felt a strong kinship to the moment itself. By no means am I throwing stones on the foot-in-mouth score. My house is made entirely of glass on that one.

But I have spent most of my adult life feeling inept at the art of small talk. Assuming everyone else was the equivalent of a Super-Hostess or Social-Olympian with easy conversation and funny stories while I'm tongue-tied and standing by the punch-bowl. This moment made me think maybe the group of mere mortals is more crowded than I thought.

I waited for the Bizzlehopper comments to arrive at their natural close, responded with a nod and mmm-hmmm, allowed the conversation lull and noticed out-loud Oh, look my glass is empty. If you'll excuse me...
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Currently Reading Reason: Why Liberals Will Win the Battle for America by Robert Reich
Currently Watching Slings and Arrows: The Complete Collection