Ooooo The Tax Man

For every benefit you receive a tax is levied. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You know it must be tax time if I have such a rapid fire of postings to my blog.

I go to great lengths to avoid filing my tax return. I clean my house, I get the oil changed in my car, I go to the yoga class on Saturday. My avoidance can run pretty thick. My financial world has no complicating nuisances so filing the return is not that difficult. With the assistance of a software package I can compose and submit our family tax return in less than a day.

Its not the part about paying taxes. I'm all for roads and bridges, good schools, and all the benefits I reap from my state and federal tax dollars at work. Weird but true. Its not the money I pay the taxman I try to avoid - its that moment after all the numbers crunched that makes me wince. The moment where I look at our income and there are two distinct feelings. One is to stand aghast by the obscene amount of wealth in this country. The other feeling is more selfish in wishing higher digits were involved on the income side of my return.

What craziness is that? If you knew the meager existence I envisioned after graduating from college you would join me in wondering how any amount of money could leave me unsatisfied? Well past the age of twenty-five I was the person who could pack all my possessions into the hatchback of a '91 Dodge Omni. Take the hatchback out of this equation and in a global or national scale, by any measure and in every sense I am extremely fortunate.

At thirty-five McKibbin and I manage to afford our needs and several things we want. I live in the richest country in the world. I am offered every advantage. An environmental career has fed my spirit and been more profitable than I thought it would be to boot.

I don't think the poverty of my twenties, or poverty in general, makes someone an inherently virtuous person. By the same logic I don't necessarily admire a person just because they've made bank. Tax time conjures a murky mess of emotions from disappointment to shock to self loathing to confusion. Its just a mess in my brain that I'd rather avoid. Thank goodness its almost over.