My Pet Planet

I was watching A Traveler’s Guide to the Planets last month and balked at a commentator that called Neptune a boring planet. They described it as a featureless, nondescript, deep-freeze placeholder planet on the outskirt of our solar system. I might be exaggerating a tiny bit but the sentiment was clear and I’ve been stewing about it ever since. 

I would consider Neptune my pet planet. I think it possess a lovely sense tranquillity and cold. So I came up with a rebuttal list to the notion that Neptune is boring: 

1. Extreme Storm-Chasing Potential. Neptune’s atmosphere is primarily made up of hydrogen and helium with rippling clouds, raging storms and winds that clock the fastest time trials in the solar system. That’s a wind speed of 133,000 miles per hour, but who’s counting? 

2. Fame Grabbing Controversy. Two mathematicians and one Galileo are all credited with “discovering” Neptune. It depends on who you talk to. 

3. Neptune Allows Pluto To Cut In Line. From 1979-1999 Pluto was eighth in the solar system line and in 1999 Pluto resumed its ninth position without so much as an, “excuse me,” or “thanks.” 

4. Funky Chunky Orbital Rings. Ice and space gunk that sticks together and orbits Neptune. 

5. In a word: Triton. The feisty moon that Neptune probably captured as it was floating by. 

6. Seen It. Last month I saw Neptune through a high-power telescope set up at the Nebraska Star Party Observation Field. It was pretty exciting, I must say. It was lovely, cool and serene and not at all boring.